The Human Owners Manual

The Myth of the Unsolvable Problem

There is no such thing as an unsolvable problem. “AH! But what about…” I hear you start. Yes, of course, you’re right. But here’s the rub. Let’s play out this thought exercise. You’re going to think of an impossible problem. Then I’m going to think of a way to solve that “impossible” problem. Either by sacrificing something you would never sacrifice, or by breaking rules you would never break, or by reframing the problem to view it from a new perspective. And then you’re going to rewrite the scenario to make it so my proposed solution wouldn’t work either. Then I’m going to solve that a different way, and back and forth we go until you’ve constricted the terms of the problem so tightly that I have no wiggle room left and I have to admit, “Yes, you’re right. There is no way to solve that problem.”

The issue is: You had to so tightly constrict the terms of the hypothetical scenario that the hypothetical scenario became meaningless. For one thing, real life never gets so artificially constricted like that. There is always a way out. And two, You can make any statement true or false by using ridiculous constrictions to the terms like that:

“Men are taller than women”
“Uh-uh. Some women are very tall. Taller than most men even.”
“Ok, on average, men are taller than women”
“Using the average of what? I don’t think your data is from a double-blind, peer reviewed study.
“Here’s a data sheet from the World Health Organization that says that world-wide, men are taller than women on average.”
I don’t recognize that organization as a valid source of data.”
“Uh… ok, what study do you accept for data? We’ll use yours”
“I only accept this one study from 1885 from a girls’ college where there were only two men on campus, both of which were under 5'5”
“Alright, then I guess, technically, under those circumstances, using your data, I have to accept that men are not statistically taller than women.”

You see? There comes a point where you have artificially constricted the problem past the point of rationality. But for every real problem you are going to face in your life, there is always a solution…. unless you artificially constrict the problem past the point of rationality.

But let’s have some fun! Here’s some of our favorite ways to abandon rationality when trying to solve our problems:

Treat prioritization decisions as limits

“I cannot get to Daniel’s dance class on Saturday. Between the soccer game in the morning and the PTA meeting at 1:00 and I need to find some way to get my car into the shop. It’s just not possible.”

Of course it’s “possible”. You just have to give up any or all of those other things. If you don’t want to give up any of those things, then ok, you have merely prioritized those things as more important than Daniel’s dance class. That perfectly valid. But it’s not an impossible problem. We all have 24 hours to use each day, and every single one of us has to decide what we’re going to use them for, and - importantly for this discussion - what we are not going to use them for instead. That’s just time management.

There is another version of this that involves not being willing to sacrifice one thing (be it money or relationships or positioning) that would allow us to fix the problem. Again - that’s fine - but that is just a decision on your part as to which one is more important to you. That is no more a problem than choosing chocolate instead of strawberry at the ice cream shop. Obviously, choosing one precludes the other (unless you mix those two flavors together, you animal)1, but the only “problem” there is that you were given a meaningful choice.

Obeying arbitrary rules

Some rules are just meant to be broken. Most rules, if we’re being honest. Relax! I didn’t say all rules, and I don’t mean laws or important societal rules. But, by sheer number, most of the rules we have surrounding our lives are the ones we make ourselves or ones which necessarily are intended to have exceptions or be overruled by common sense. Rules like “drive between the lines on the road” and “don’t wear white after Labor Day.” And especially the thousand little rules we make for ourselves like “don’t make any decisions until I’ve had my coffee” or “eat all the green m&m’s first before moving on to other colors.” These rules are fine and were put in place for usually very good reasons as rules of thumb. But our brains can sometimes confuse the two and treat them like they are immutable and MUST NOT BE DISOBEYEDah…..(thunder rumbles). A lot of times an “unsolvable problem” can be easily solved if we just disobey one of our own rules.

“I can’t afford to buy Manny his birthday gifts!!!!”
“What about that $2000 in your bank account”
“That’s for his college fund!”
“Right. But the only reason you don’t have the money is that your paycheck was unexpectedly delayed. So you can borrow from the college fund and pay it back when you get the delayed paycheck. It will be the same as if your paycheck had been delivered on time”

This doesn’t mean the rule of “don’t spend from the college fund” is a bad rule. It’s a good rule. And in most cases, it makes sense to follow it.

And then…. it does also apply to the unbreakable rules too. Say you had a situation where you were going to lose a $16,000 deposit if you didn’t get to the lawyer’s office by 5. But to do that, you would have to break the speed limit. Isn’t the $150 speeding ticket worth saving $16,000?2 There are times when the consequences for breaking a rule are better than the consequences of not. That is a solvable problem.

False positives on what qualifies as a problem

  1. I know that Neapolitan exists. I stand by my statement. ↩︎

  2. Yes, there’s the issue of losing time to the cop pulling you over, but follow the principle, dammit! ↩︎