Perfectionism is Snake Oil

Why is it that people at the absolute pinnacle of their field always seem to be the type that is fanatical about striving for perfection - that good enough is never good enough, and they are always pushing themselves for that next little bump in excellence - yet, when you know someone who claims to be a perfectionist, they always seem to be bogged down in their momentum, fixating on their insignificant stumbles, or expressing frustration at their inability to get things done? There’s a stark difference between those two mentalities, isn’t there? Between the starry-eyed dreamer who believes anything is possible and keeps pushing to improve their skills by even the tiniest amount, and the frustrated, shrill micromanager for whom nothing is ever good enough.

The key differentiator between these two personalities, and their wildly differed experience of life, is their disparate focus and - you may have picked up on - a subtle difference in the wording of how they view themselves. When your goal is “perfection,” you have a vision of what perfection looks like in your own mind. You are motivated to constantly improve. You have a forward goal. You know where you are, you know the direction you want to travel, and you are constantly assessing and calculating how to take the next step toward getting there. When you view yourself as “perfectionist,” your goal is almost diametrically opposed to that. A perfectionist is obsessed with lack of error. Instead of striving to get better and achieve greater and more difficult challenges, a perfectionist just wants to keep doing the same things they already know how to do, but remove any error from the process. It actually incentivizes you to not try new or difficult things, because those activities put your perfect record at risk.

In addition, I would say that the virtuoso striving for perfection knows that actually achieving perfection is impossible, and is just trying to get as close as they can; every incremental improvement is a victory. Whereas a perfectionist believes that complete lack of error is not only possible, but that it is the correct and natural state of things. Therefore, every failure, no matter how miniscule, is a direct attack on their self-worth and is an unacceptable outcome. The one is constantly reinforced with positive reward, and the other is persistently faced with their own inadequacy. It’s not too hard to imagine why their eventual attitudes and demeanors would differ, even if both are ostensibly aiming for an impossible standard. In fact, you could be forgiven for assuming that the primary detriment of perfectionism is that it is an impossible goal to achieve. But truth be told, some of the most superlative accomplishments of the human race have resulted from someone striving for what was commonly accepted as impossible. There’s some measure of wisdom in the old adage “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” (even if it’s not particularly correct astronomically speaking.)

No, the biggest problem with perfectionism is that it takes your eyes off the true goal. It is said you cannot win a race by looking behind you. If your focus is on reducing error, it takes your mental focus off how you could enhance your efficiency or how you could achieve an even greater version of what you’re trying to achieve. Every innovation that has ever birthed into our collective human existence, necessarily, has been an attempt to do something that has never been done before. There is no way to do a new thing that doesn’t inherently involve risk. And risk, by its very definition means that there is some measure of probability, and resultingly, an eventuality of the occurrence of error. If your goal is to reduce error, especially if you fixate such that the banishment of all error is the preeminent definition of success, you will handcuff yourself from ever trying anything new. In short, you lobotomize your own ability to innovate.

Instead, lean into your failures; learn from them. Obviously, making intentional mistakes is foolishness, but being afraid of mistakes is potentially more so. Stop focusing on not messing up, and instead, shift your focus into trying to accomplish something you’ve never done before. If you keep doing that, eventually, you’ll start doing things that no one has done before.